The drinking of alcohol as a coping mechanism to manage problems such as low self-esteem and experiencing a lot of anxiety, and to feel accepted by others, is such a common theme. Drinking turns into excessive drinking, and stopping drinking leads to even lower self-esteem and a heightened anxiety level due to a ‘rebound’ effect due to changes in the brain. Excessive drinking can then turn into a full-blown addiction.
A culture of excessive drinking can occur in communities where many people have been traumatised. This drinking culture can further exacerbate the intensity and extent of a community’s drinking problem.
The past troubles in Northern Ireland have led to many individuals, families and communities being traumatised. Alcohol and prescription drugs have been used by a great many as a coping mechanism. Here, Gary Rutherford of Northern Ireland describes his earlier drinking problem. Gary is Founder and Strategic Coordinator of ARC Fitness, an exciting and inspiring recovery community in Derry/Londonderry in Northern Ireland.
My Drinking Problem [2 films, 8’06”]
Gary explains that he is 12 years in long-term recovery. He had various issues when he was younger, namely a lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem, and he was experiencing a great deal of anxiety. He was bullied at school. He used various substances to manage these problems and his social landscape, and to feel accepted. Alcohol was his main drug of choice as it was freely accessible. He also dabbled with prescription medicines a lot. He became reliant on these substances over the years, resulting in great chaos and destruction in his life.
Drinking was ingrained in the Northern Ireland culture at the time. Gary’s drinking spiralled out of control, so by the age of 30 he had a failed marriage, had lost jobs, and accumulated criminal convictions. He had broken his back and lost parts of his hand in various alcohol-related accidents. He had experienced a number of hospitalisations and clinical detoxes and been in various residential rehabilitation centres. He really wanted, and needed, to change.
Gary emphasises that he had a great upbringing, wonderful parents, and a lot of love at home. He didn’t suffer any major trauma growing up. He just came from Northern Ireland:
‘… we have a lot of anxiety and trauma in our society. I was afraid of everything, and I just found something that worked for me at that age. But the problem for me is that it was that immediate connection with alcohol was so destructive… it was so passionate. And I chased it, and I looked after it, and I longed after it…’
Gary was a drummer in a pipe band that was involved in competitions every Saturday. People started drinking the second they got off the bus on competition days. He was associated with older people in that situation and wanted to fit in. He then started getting jobs in bars. At 14 years of age, he was coming home at 02.00 after collecting glasses and drinking beer, then going to school that morning. ‘I took full advantage of the opportunities that were presented.’
Gary then moved from working in local bars to a nightclub in town. He explains that when you come from a culture where drinking is so socially acceptable, then it is easier to hide your own drinking. He had his first conversation about alcohol dependence at the age of 17. And he didn’t get sober until he was 30. So, he navigated the drinking realm for a good number of years.
Gary romanticised his relationship with alcohol and drugs. He loved drinking for a long period of time, until he obviously didn’t love it because it was causing so many problems. He almost made his relationship with alcohol, ‘My purpose. My purpose was to be the last one home.’