I first heard about Marcus Fair and his exciting recovery community initiative Eternal Media, based in in Wrexham, North Wales, from my colleague Wulf Livingston. I was stimulated and excited listening to Marcus and Wulf as I edited the film of their Recovery Voices conversation. And I was absolutely amazed that Marcus had survived a 25-year heroin and crack cocaine addiction. He also experienced extended periods of homelessness and time in Her Majesty’s Prisons (HMPs). I was touched by Marcus’s words, ‘I wasn’t aware you could change.’
I was fascinated by Marcus’s transition from heroin addict to filmmaker. I loved his film Flipped It!, which was about addiction and how people turn it around and find recovery. He used both the police and people who had been in trouble with the police in making the film. I am so impressed by what has been achieved by Eternal Media, both in terms of helping large numbers of people in their recovery journey from addiction and/or offending behaviour, and by the high quality of the film projects that the team has made. And the fact that Marcus has survived the constant challenge of finding funding to do their work.
I wanted to do a follow-up to Wulf’s interview with Marcus, which I did early this year. My apologies for the long delay in editing the film and writing the summaries. I was later thrilled to have an opportunity to visit Marcus and Lucke Gabriel, Head of Post Production at Eternal Media, in The Bunker on the outskirts of Wrexham. I was like a kid in the cookie jar. I was so impressed by what I saw and heard.
Anyway, here are the main films I edited from the earlier Zoom conversation that I had with Marcus. I hope you enjoy. [10 films, 72 mins 36 secs] The film below is the fourth in the list, Setting Up Eternal Media.
1. Freedom From Addiction [6’54”]
Interviewer David Clark describes how inspired he has been hearing about the recovery-related activities occurring in North Wales, in particular at North Wales Recovery Communities (NWRC) and Eternal Media. He had always dreamed years ago when he worked in the field in the UK that such exciting recovery initiatives would develop.
After finding recovery, Marcus had felt that nothing good was being provided for people in recovery from addiction. If a recovering person wanted to do an activity, they had to do it with people in addiction. He knew of a treatment service that had recovering people in high-vis tops going around parks picking up needles. It broke Marcus’s heart when he saw that, and then found that the activity was plastered all over Facebook. ‘They’ve found their return ticket from hell, and don’t ask them to go and pick needles up in a park.’ Marcus doesn’t think the person who came up with the idea had his heart in the wrong place, but it just felt so wrong.
David talked about Patrick Biernacki’s research from the mid-1980s which showed that one of the key things for people who had recovered from heroin addiction without treatment was to be accepted by so-called ‘normal’ society as being normal. He points out that the activity described by Marcus just increases stigma.
Marcus and his colleagues set up Eternal Media to show people ‘the flip side of life’, how life is when you find recovery. If Marcus had to describe recovery in one word, he would say ’freedom’. ‘Freedom from active addiction, freedom from the chemist, freedom from police, freedom from services, freedom from prisons and methadone scripts and having to lie.’ Recovering people have just got away from the shackles of addiction, they don’t now need the shackles of picking up needles.
David adds to the list, freedom from having people look down at you, and freedom to have your self-esteem and self-worth back. He goes on to describe sitting in group sessions at LEAP in Edinburgh, which was run by Dr. David McCartney, and being asked why he came to such sessions. He pointed out that he attended because he enjoyed seeing people who had been through so much adversity in addiction and were now helping each other. He would rather be sitting in such a group than with a bunch of ‘snotty academics’.
2. Oblivion to Prison Filmmaker [8’03”]
Marcus describes meeting someone a few days earlier who had pulled him out of a toilet in Northwich when he had overdosed 15 years earlier. The person remembered Marcus, but the latter had forgotten about the event. Sometimes his past feels like his life, but other times it feels like someone else’s life. His life today is far different to the times he was like a ‘skull on a stick’.
There was a progression of drug use for Marcus through the 80s and 90s rave scene. His first experience with heroin was around 1991. He and his friend Nathan, a Grade A student, were offered the drug and Marcus thought that Nathan was ‘clued up’, so if he was taking it there wouldn’t be a problem for him. Nathan did not ever try the drug again, but Marcus never stopped using for 25 years. He spent many years using crack cocaine as well, which brought desperation and chaos into his life. He experienced ‘vast swathes of homelessness, prison sentences, lots and lots of violence… and just pure abject, distilled misery.’
Marcus’s high in the end became overdose. ‘It wasn’t really about the drugs so much anymore, it was about the oblivion.’ He was putting crack cocaine and heroin into a syringe and the liquid was so thick it came out like treacle. If his eyes didn’t go into the back of his head and he had an epileptic fit, he felt like he had been ripped off. ‘And there was nowhere to go from there.’ It was like he was seeing how close to death he could get and come back from, without knowing he was doing that.
Fortunately, Marcus got arrested again. On his first night in prison, he just felt relief. He had been getting involved in gun crime and he wasn’t like that. He had been sucked into Manchester gangs, because at that stage he was vulnerable to being used. He had no idea where all of that would have gone. Just prior to this last prison visit, he was not in control of anything in his life.
Marcus believes that his last prison sentence saved his life. He loved this time in prison! He had previously had some film experience and he became the prison’s filmmaker. It felt so good to be using a computer and simple camera again. He was making some films for the prison and doing the radio show in the morning. He was taught falconry in the afternoon. He had more freedom inside the jail than he had outside. It was a much better life there than the one he had left behind.
Last year, Marcus got in contact with his old boss in the prison and told him it had been ten years since he was there. He asked if he could visit the prison, saying, ‘Maybe I’m in a position now to help you the way you helped me.’ When he visited, he found lads there who were using media to help get them away from their past horrific life, in the same way that he did.
3. What Happened in Rehab [10’16”]
Marcus was sitting on his prison bunk bed staring at the bars thinking, ‘How can I keep doing film?’ He started to think about creating what turned out to be Eternal Media. He came out of prison and went straight back into using heroin, because he ‘was an untreated addict.’ His addiction had been in ‘deep freeze’ in prison; it hadn’t been addressed. ‘No cognitive change, that sort of thing.’ He was very soon homeless again and spent another year on the streets. Nobody was going to give him rehab, ‘because he wasn’t a safe bet’ and there were few available places.
Marcus’s dear friends Tony Ormond and Adrian put a case forward to the Area Planning Board (APB), who would pay for people’s treatment, that ‘a man would die if he doesn’t get help.’ They had to give Marcus a code name, ‘Little Brother’, because if the APB knew it was him they would never provide funding. Marcus would go to the library and make notes of what he was doing over time. For example, he’d write that he was living in a car park in Bangor, busking, trying to void going to prison, and had overdosed on Tuesday. Tony was using these notes to build up a case for the APB.
The APB eventually gave three-months funding for Marcus to go to rehab, and later another three months funding. An army of counsellors, police, lawyers, family, friends had been telling him over many years how to get ‘clean’, but it was only after going to this rehab, which was staffed by people in recovery, that he learnt how to get clean and stay clean. One counsellor in particular was great, in that he instantly took off all that guilt and shame that Marcus had been carrying for so long. ‘It cleared the wreckage of my past just to allow me to go forward. And I did.’
Marcus explains that there were conversations that he and his counsellor (Pete) did not need to have, because both had previously had the same experiences whilst they were addicted to heroin and crack cocaine… just different locations and casts. Pete asked Marcus whether he felt that what he did in addiction was ‘your fault’. ‘Yes, of course’, Marcus replied.
‘Why do you think it’s your fault? Would you do it now?’ Pete asked. ‘You don’t need to do it now, so don’t do it now. So it wasn’t you doing that then, was it? That was you as an addict doing that. It’s not your fault, you doing that. I’ll tell you why it’s not your fault you did that. Because if it’s your fault you did that, then it’s my fault I did what I did… and it’s not my fucking fault I did what I did.’
No-one had spoken to Marcus in this way before. It was a real moment for him. Taking away the shame and guilt was so powerful. He also realised that self-pity was of no value, just wasted energy. He’s now a big believer in ‘put your energy where you need to put it at any one time.’ That’s what he teaches people who work with him.
Marcus describes how many addicts do a lot of wasted thinking. There always needs to be a backup plan—plan B, C down to Z , as there are always so many problems in your daily life. He describes how you are constantly thinking of alternative scenarios; your brain never stops. Even when you are going to take your drug, you don’t enjoy that because you’re thinking of how to get the next batch.
Marcus also points out that some of the skills he learnt in addiction work very well in everyday life. They are transferable skills.
4. Setting Up Eternal Media [5’21”]
Marcus and colleagues set up the charity Eternal Community Media in 2016, after he made his first film out of rehab, “Flipped It!’. Later, they started to get enquiries for more commercial work, from organisations like Sky News, BBC and Channel 4, which didn’t fit into the charity’s remit—working with offenders, ex-offenders, those at risk of offending. They therefore set up a social enterprise limited company that took on this commercial work and funded the charity as well.
Marcus describes opening an email one morning which had a day’s call sheet for a film that contained the words ‘Marcus Fair, Director of Photography’—at the top of the call sheet were the words ‘MGM Studios, Beverley Hills, California.’ What change in his life!
People in early recovery, often with a criminal record, were coming to Eternal Media having written off their lives. ‘Society kind of writes us off at one point, but I think we write ourselves off before society does.’ Marcus had written himself off when he was 21 years old. He knew his life was over. He describes a long university course (his addiction) that cost him an awful lot of money, but gave him transferable skills allowing him to do what he does now. If he hadn’t had this ‘course’ he would not have been able to do what he does now.
People in early recovery who come to Eternal Media soon realise that they have transferable skills from their life in addiction. Marcus emphasises that these people have 100% trust from Eternal Media when they join up. They arrive not being used to being trusted. Eternal Media have a lot of expensive film equipment, some of which are very small items. No equipment has ever gone missing.
5. The Bunker [5’09”]
Eternal Media is located in a 1960s nuclear bunker on the outskirts of Wrexham. Marcus explains that 29 of these bunkers were built around the UK in response to the Cuban Missile Crisis. The bunker is above ground, unlike many others. Marcus explains the various roles that the bunker, and those people attached to it, had in the event of a nuclear missile attack. One of the jobs involved people going out and seeing what was left of Wrexham!
The bunker ‘went back’ to the farmer when the Berlin Wall came down. The rave band K-Klass then took it over, gutted it, and made it into a recording studio. Squatters took it over after they moved out, before Steve Hywyn Jones moved in and built his recording studio.
Eternal Media now has the left side of the bunker. Marcus describes having a row of editing suites, photography studios, two recording studios, and an Infinity Cove. Eternal Media has also taken over the old stores, which is now a cinema but can also be used for any number of activities. Gardens have been built around The Bunker—moles love the lawn—which is a breakout space for people.
6. Recovery in Focus [9’01”]
Marcus first met Jill Whittingham, a highly-respected drug and alcohol counsellor who is in long-term recovery, when he was in rehab. He really enjoyed her group sessions. He knew she loved photography and some years later he asked her if they could do something together, using photography in a therapeutic way. The result is Recovery in Focus, which primarily involves people in early recovery. It’s been incredibly popular and is now funded for two years by the National Lottery.
The project involves skilling up people in photography using their own mobile phones. They are taught about composition, lighting and various other matters, and taken to a variety of locations. They visit photography exhibitions, and also learn how famous photographers look at things. The course involves a full day every Wednesday for ten weeks. One week participants go out on location, where they take many photographs, and the next they spend in the classroom. They discuss what they were thinking at the time of taking a photograph, and feedback is given by Jill, Marcus or another member of Eternal Media. All the time, participants are interacting with other people in recovery—they are forming a support network. In the days between each session, participants go out and take photographs and interact with each other. Family members get involved as well.
In learning a specific skill, photography, they are also earning and practising life skills as they interact with their fellow participants. They are learning to trust, and be trusted, and to communicate with and be at ease with others, skills that have been impaired or destroyed during their addiction.
Jill and Marcus also involve people in longer-term recovery. Marcus points out that recovery works by osmosis. If he’s around people in recovery, positively charged people, he starts to think positively. People in early recovery participating in Recovery in Focus see and learn from those in long-term recovery that recovery is possible. Their thinking and emotions become positively charged.
7. When You Come Out of Addiction [7’57”]
Eternal Media take people in recovery out as film crew on their funded projects, be it whether the projects are for prisons, health boards or the police. Marcus emphasises that he puts together courses that he would like to go on. He wants to be with people who are happy, clean, positively charged, and a bit naughty. He didn’t get clean to be an angel—there’s enough angels out there!
Marcus points out that addicts have a very busy life. They are on a hamster wheel pretty much all day. His habit was £300 a day. You have to keep finding the money to pay for the drugs and this can involve robberies. If you’re homeless, like he was, you have to find somewhere to take the drugs. It may not be a fulfilling life, but it’s a full life. You are busy all day. When you come out of that and become clean, it’s like, “Now what?’
Eternal was set up to be the ‘Now What’. Recovering people get skills in photography, films, radio and podcasting. And they are get other skills fed into them ‘under the radar’. Confidence and self-esteem are enhanced. Feelings of worthlessness and self-loathing disappear. They take their new skills and changes in personality away with them. They are given complicated, broadcast quality equipment to work with. They might be frightened to use it at the beginning of the day; by the end of the day they are ‘putting it together like it’s a sniper rifle.’
Marcus points out that around 560 people have passed through The Bunker to date. As far as they are aware, no one has committed crime or relapsed whilst engaged with them. He doesn’t know anyone else doing this… and half the time they are doing it for no money.
8. Funding Eternal Media [6’25”]
Marcus points out that Eternal Media is not a ‘pink fluffy charity’ to whom people are likely to donate. The public are unlikely to fund addicts, alcoholics and prison leavers, although you would think that society would want people coming back into their community, crime-free, drug-free, and helping other people.
Whilst Eternal gets a little charitable funding from time to time, they survive on the funding from commissions they undertake to make films or run training courses. Marcus says: ’We had a BBC producer here a couple of months ago and he was looking through some of our films and he goes, how much do you charge for that? And I told him, and he goes, you need to quadruple your rate.’ Marcus knows they wouldn’t get that amount of money in the field they operate.
The National Lottery has been fantastic, funding two ‘Recovery in Focus’ for £10,000 each. Now they are providing funding for five others. Marcus would ‘love a fairy godmother or father to come along and just wave a wand, give us a few million, allow us to give projects to people.’ There are lots of charities and social enterprises out there doing amazing work. Marcus would love to be able to approach some of them and say ‘we want to make a film highlighting the wonderful work you do’. Instead, he spends 85-90% of his time either pitching for work, writing proposals, or putting a bid together, rather than actually doing work that helps people turn their lives around.
Despite the funding issues, Marcus says: ‘… it all seems worth it when you’re just working with someone and they’ve got long dead eyes and you just see that spark of creativity come in their eyes and they get it and something changes.’
9. It Is Very Surreal [10’07”]
Marcus points out how surreal it was that an addict of 25 years, along with two other serious addicts, were giving talks to a room full of senior North Wales policemen. The room went from being very prickly to people wanting to know more. Simon Shaw, Assistant Chief Constable of North Wales police, had wanted members of his demoralised police force, who only saw people continually going through the revolving door of treatment, to see that addicts who were given the right treatment at the right time could change around their lives.
Simon asked Marcus if they could have another such gathering. Marcus suggested they make a film with the police media team. Simon wasn’t confident his media team could do that, but Marcus emphasised that he knew how to make a film, but he needed the police team as crew. Simon agreed and the film Flipped It! was later made. Along the way, Marcus met Peter Norrie, a BAFTA-winning filmmaker, in a pub and he got involved. Other highly respected people from different backgrounds got involved.
Marcus says that Simon Shaw was a great recovery champion and humanitarian. He’s the most ethical man Marcus has ever met and he has taught him so much… and continues to do so. Simon also realised that addiction cost so much to police and prosecute, eating into his budget, whilst recovery is free. Once an addict is in recovery, they normally contribute to society, rather than take. It was a no-brainer to Simon. Marcus thinks it was so important having someone like Simon championing recovery in North Wales before he retired. Now he is on the board of Eternal Media.
David emphasises to Marcus how incredible his project is and how wonderful it would be for him to make a film of his own story and what Eternal Media is doing. Marcus agrees but points out that he is on ‘the hamster wheel’ all the time trying to rise funding to keep Eternal Media going. He stresses that it is heartbreaking at times. Some charities approach him and ask if he can come and make a film of the wonderful things they are doing. They don’t realise his situation. Simon does try and help them find funding for what they want to do.
10. NWRC, Podcasting & Prison Project [5’23”]
Marcus points out that Eternal Media have been filming at North Wales Recovery Communities (NWRC) for seven or eight years now. The first film focused on Moving On In My Recovery [an acceptance-based cognitive behavioural programme to help people recover from addiction]. Marcus would love to have gone to NWRC when he was looking to recover, but it was not there at that time. He finds any excuse he can to go to visit NWRC in Bangor. James Deakin, Founder of NWRC, and he have chatted about how they can do more together, possibly have an Eternal Media satellite there.
Eternal are hoping to build a satellite in a prison as well. David says that it would be good to make a series of filmed recovery stories. Marcus points out they are currently using podcasting which is a cheaper and faster way of getting recovery stories out there. They’ve just finished recording a podcast series in a prison.
The prison has recently set up a recovery wing, which has a small gym and space for mutual aid groups and other activities. However, the people there don’t get to meet anyone in recovery. Marcus emphasised that his Eternal Media team were mobbed when they arrived. They were asked so many questions about living in recovery, because the inmates did not know anyone in long-term recovery. Eternal been skilling up the lads in prison with interviewing techniques and technical aspects whilst recording the podcasts.
The project was so popular that Marcus put together a funding application to do further podcasting in prison—filming does not work in prison due to security issues. He plans to take people from NWRC into the prison and skill then up there. The inmates will be able to interact with NWRC people on their recovery journey creating an osmosis process of recovery, and see them on the outside when they finish their sentence. Eternal will be able to get incredibly powerful stories about people recovering inside and outside of prison.
Marcus’s Main Themes YouTube Playlist
Marcus’s Themes Films YouTube Playlist
Biography
Marcus Fair survived a 25-year addiction to heroin and crack cocaine. His first paid gig was as a playwright, before he relapsed and ended up in prison again. There, he realised that his life was being saved by him doing the prison radio and some filming. If this could happen to him, it could do a lot for other people. He planned what he could do to help others. He made a film, Flipped It!, for North Wales Police which was widely acclaimed. He set up Eternal Media, which makes high impact documentary films and empowers and mentors volunteer film crews, which comprise people who are rebuilding their lives whilst recovering from addiction and/or an involvement in crime.