Today, my good friend Michael Scott celebrates his 47th year in recovery from a drinking problem. Michael first contacted me in 2002 when I was running the grassroots initiative WIRED (later known as Wired In) and the Daily Dose news portal in the UK, and he was living in Australia. We remained in periodic contact over the next six years.
In early 2009, I contacted Mike and asked whether he fancied lunch. ‘How can you be saying that when you live on the other side of the world?’ said Michael, or words to that effect. I told him that I had moved to Perth from South Wales and my partner worked down the road from where he did. We met for lunch at a restaurant called Cravings.
A few years later when Linda and I were looking for a house to buy, Michael suggested that we look in his suburb, Canning Vale, which we did. We soon found a lovely house just down the road from two small lakes and a wooded area. A beautiful area in which to live. And our house is just down the road from that of Mike and his wife Andrea.
I wrote Michael’s Recovery Story, The Power of Empathy and Compassion, for my book Our Recovery Stories: Journeys From Drug and Alcohol Addiction over a decade ago. You can read Michael’s story on this website. Here are two small parts from that Story:
‘I made the decision to stop drinking on April 10th, 1978, three years after my parents had died. My last drinking session took place at the Shenton Park Hotel. I finished my last drink and slammed the glass down, saying to myself that this was it! “No more drinking!” I have not had a drop of alcohol since then.
I walked home and called an ambulance, saying that I had an alcohol problem and needed help. The ambulance took me to Sir Charles Gardner Hospital where a doctor started shaking his head in dismay (and probably disgust) at the sight of his wretched-looking patient. I was terribly thin (bordering on anorexic), scruffy, dirty and smelt badly. He referred me to the D20 psychiatry ward at Charlie Gardner’s and I spent a night in this infamous facility.
On the following day, I was taken to the local detox/rehab unit on Ord Street in Perth. I remember this long walk vividly, probably the longest walk I have ever taken. I was completely shot, burnt out by years of drinking, but struggled on, as I knew that I had to do this. At the detox unit, I was given a shower and staff tried to feed me, but I couldn’t eat for three or four days. They therefore gave me bi-daily Vitamin shots in my rear end, which were very painful.’
Here are some of Mike’s reflections on what helped his recovery. He also describes a little of what he did when working as a counsellor with people trying to overcome their substance use problem:
‘One important factor that contributed to my early recovery was the fact that I spent a good deal of time with people who were in the same boat as me, people who were also trying to overcome their drink problems. I could relate to the other patients, and we had a mutual understanding of what we were going through. They did not judge or denigrate me. When I was drinking, I was always self-conscious about what people thought of my appearance and behaviour, but this didn’t happen in the rehab. I also didn’t feel isolated; in fact, I felt I belonged.
The nurses in the rehab were also a powerful positive influence, as they made us feel important. As alcoholics, we had so little self-esteem and the nurses helped us to start to feel good about ourselves. Looking back, the empathy and compassion the staff showed to me was the single most important factor that helped me on my journey to recovery. People in the rehab, clients and staff, saved my life. I am still in touch with one of the nurses, 35 years after leaving the rehab.
My time in the rehab was a time-out period. I had so desperately needed a rest and to be in a place where I could get away from all the stresses of ordinary life. I learnt to gain some respect for myself from the way the rehab staff treated me and identified with other people who were also trying to overcome their drink problem.
For the first time, I learnt strategies as to how to avoid drinking again. And by not drinking, my resolve to remain abstinent strengthened. My desire to get a job helping other people overcome their drinking problems became part of the Recovery Plan I developed for myself…’
‘… Recovering people need empathy and TLC (Tender Loving Care). Rapport with the patient is key to helping them recover. In my opinion, good rapport should be a given working in this field—it is what I experienced in rehab and what helped me get better, and it is what I aim for with my clients.
I chat with them about their Recovery Plan and their Recovery Goals. I emphasise to them that recovery must be fun; they don’t want to be hanging on for grim death in their recovery. I encourage them to get out and do things. I love movies and often encourage clients to go to the cinema. Sadly, there are not enough recovery-related activities going on in the local community of Perth, which is a major shortcoming in our current care system for people with substance use problems.
I believe that socialisation—the learning of interpersonal and interactive skills that a person requires to interact with other people—is one of the most important aspects of recovery and recovery-based care. Sadly, my management believes that our unit must focus on the medical detox, and our client’s underlying psychological and social issues should be addressed further down the track, post-detox in an outpatient or rehab setting.
The patients really appreciate the simple activities I organise in the unit, including scrabble, Wii and Bocce, which are used to facilitate relationships and communication, and help take people’s minds off their troubles. Such social activities help our patients overcome the psychological isolation that is so often intimately linked with addiction.
Learning simple social skills helps them interact with other people and survive in the outside world…’
I’m very lucky to have such a good friend, one who is such a powerful example to others.